Family Collage

Family Collage
Lots of Love in this Bunch!
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Monday, June 7, 2010

My YaYas!

"If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky. If you have one good friend, you're more than lucky." - S.E. Hinton

Many of you reading this post are unfamiliar with the women standing next to me in the photo above. These fabulous people have been my friends since Jr. High School; they are my precious YaYas! Dana Massey is on the left and Tarah Olewski is on the right. During the past fifteen years, we've been through good times and bad: boyfriend disasters, weddings, childrens' births, scary health issues, and unfortunately, lots of funerals. Both live in Mobile, Alabama (nearly 75 miles south of my home in Millry), and YES!, I get off beat if a few days pass without speaking to one or both on the phone.

Now, you may be wondering why I inserted this photo in my post. This is a snapshot of the foyer area in our home. Please note the beautiful plants beneath the window seal. These seven-year-old peace lilies are very special to Trae and I because they were given to us by Dana and Tarah after the funeral of our baby daughter, Sarah Margaret. Sadly, due to complications during my third pregnancy, "Maggie" was born 17 weeks prematurely. My life changed forever that day, but with support and encouragement from my family and friends, I found peace and moved on. Now, three miracles later, I find myself still begging for Dana and Tarah's support and encouragement! Our friendship is unique in many ways. We understand that life is full of disappointments and defeats, so we make every effort to be there for one another...through good times and bad. The older we get, and with more responsibilities on our shoulders, our time is limited for one another. But we do it! Somehow, we manage to work each other into our busy schedules, even if it's just a quick text message to vent about a bad haircut!

There's no doubt our lives are different! I'm an aspiring writer/stay at home Mom to four, Dana somehow manages a career and family (she's due w/ her second child in August), and Tarah is the one Dana and I live through vicariously with her free-spirit attitude and time-share in Spain. But I fully believe these differences are what make us mesh. You see, regardless the direction we go in life, we always find a way back to one other. Perhaps a result from what we've been through together over the years? Hmm...I don't know! I'm just abundantly grateful for having these women in my life. Love you gals!

Now, what about your BFF? Please share in the comment section below. Tory


  1. You are so sweet for blogging about us. You are truly an inspiration to so many people whether it be an aspiring writer, the patient mother or just a true friend. I look up to you for so much advice when it comes to my child...I honestly don't know what I'd do with out you. You are the best friend and are going to be a wonderful, famous writer...I just know it! I love you for being you and being such a wonderful friend. By the way, I love the quote. I'll have to remember that one's SO very true!

  2. Great post, Tory!

    You really are blessed to have two wonderful friends. And I'm truly sorry to hear about the passing of your daughter. Best of luck with your writing.


  3. Dana, This post has been brewing inside my head for a week, now, and I mean each word of it! I can't wait to post on little Benjamen's arrival. I've got something "special" in mind!:)

    Thank you, Cathleen for leaving such kind words. These girls truly are the BEST!

  4. My best friends are spread all over the country. We all moved away from the city where we grew up together. And like you said, the older you get and the more responsibilities you have, the harder it is to stay in touch. When we do get to see in each other in person, it feels like no time has passed. We just pick up where we left off. In the meantime, we rely on emails and phone conversations. And we have recently started to enjoy the wonders of Skype. I video chat with one of my BFF's once a week. It's great! Our kids can see each other, we can catch up and commiserate as needed.

    Friends may not always be right at your side, but they stay in your life and share your good times and bad regardless.

    I am so sorry to learn of your loss. How devastating! I know you never get over that, even when you have more children. But it sounds like you have been blessed.

    I am so glad that we have connected! Looking forward to journeying together! :)

  5. Tory, I'm so sad to hear about your daughter. That must have been so heartbreaking. I can only imagine the questions that ran through your mind at the time. Sometimes we just don't know or understand God's plan, and I would imagine that was one of those times.

    Thankfully, you have a house full of little blessings AND good friends AND a wonderful husband. Plus, I'm sure you are just as much a good friend to them, as they are to you. You are ALL blessed.

    I still have my best friend that I met in 2nd grade. She lives on the east coast now, and I'm still on the west coast. But when we talk on the phone or visit each other, it's as if no time has passed. That is such a gift!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, and sharing in my vent about laundry!

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  7. Elizabeth and Julie - First, thank you both for checking out my post. Your comments were so kind. Yes, it was extremely heartbreaking to lose our Maggie, but it gives us comfort in knowing we will see her again one day.

    One thing I noticed with each of your responses: no matter the distance or how much time passes before seeing your BFF again, you still manage to pick-up right where you've left off. In my opinion, this is how you know your friendship is genuine. Again, thanks for visiting today, and I hope you come back soon!:)

  8. Tory,
    Thanks for stopping by my blog to visit the Kelly Link author guest post.

    My heart goes out to you and your family for the loss of your little one. I can see why you cherish your BFFs. They sound amazing.

  9. Jess - Little Ursula truly is a miracle and I know her Mommy believes the same. Thanks for sharing her story w/ us, and I look forward to reading updates about her progress. And yes, I do cherish the relationship I have w/ the women mentioned above. They are amazing!

  10. I have a couple really close friends who are living in different parts of the country. We do not always stay in touch but when we get together it's as if the years between us never existed. A good friend is hard to come by. so when you find one I feel, that you need to hold on to that person for dear life. You never know how long these people will be in your lives. I'm grateful for mine.

    Thanks for your post!

  11. Hi, Melissa! Your comment is a great example of true friendship. Thanks for stopping by today:)

  12. Oh Tori,
    Your post both broke my heart and gave me hope at the same time! What a beautiful story. I suffered a miscarriage on my third pregnancy but can't imagine having to deliver and not bringing home that bundle of joy. It's wonderful to hear about the strong network of friends you have supporting you!

  13. Lindsay, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Regardless the circumstances, there's no doubt that losing a child is one of the most devastating events a family can experience in life. Thankfully, you and I were fortunate to have help from family, friends and support groups. And we are proof that peace and happiness can & will return over time. Thanks for sharing your story and for stopping by today.

  14. Hi Tory,

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today and following me. You made my day. =)

    I look forward to getting to know you!


  15. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    This a lovely post about your beautiful friendships. Wonderful. I have some incredible friends too. Debra, Martha, Jennifer, and Sheila are all so special to me--they'll always be there for me and vice versa.

    Thank you for visiting my blog and following. I like your blog. It has a lot of heart. <3

  16. Shannon, I'm so glad you made it over to my blog, and yes, it's great knowing we will travel down this road to publication together.

    Dawn, I'm touched by your kindness and loved reading about your BFF's. Although I don't know you or any of them, I'm sure your bond w/ one another is unique and special. Thanks for stopping by today!

  17. Tory, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that there's nothing that can make it better, but it's really great to hear that you have such an amazing support system in place.

    Best friends are the best people on earth. No one else will understand and sympathize with you as perfectly as they can. So much so that even when you're both in a terrible mood, just the comfort of each other's presence is often enough to make you feel better. BFF's rock.

  18. Elizabeth, You are exactly right...even when we are ranting and raging over "life" in general, we are there for one another. And the best part is that it's okay to be HONEST. True friends know exactly what to say and when to say nothing at all. This bond is truly a gift from above. So glad you stopped by!:)