Family Collage

Family Collage
Lots of Love in this Bunch!
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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Are You A Giver or Taker?

The subject for today's post might make a few of us squirm in our seats, and if it does, then we've most likely answered the question for this powerful principle: Are You A Giver or A Taker?

Some of you might wonder what spawned this topic, so let me dig deeper and explain.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to speak with the kindest writer, Shari Maurer ( She is the author of Change of Heart, a YA novel scheduled to hit the bookstores in May 2010. *Please read more about Shari and her book at the end of this post!

I stumbled across Shari's blog at and commented on her "Look What I've Got..." post. Within a few hours, I received a message stating that she would be delighted to answer some of my "newbie" questions.

Since then, nearly two weeks ago, Shari has been gracious enough (I'm sure her time is now limited with Change of Heart raring to hit the bookstore shelves) to answer my questions regarding the publishing industry (including: the query process in general; time management as a mother/writer; what to expect with editing, etc...). But most importantly, Shari has been a GIVER of information, and that is what inspired me for today's post.

You see, in our daily relationships, whether it's between parent and child, best friends, coworkers or spouses, the manner in which we exchange our time with one another is something a lot of us never consider.

How do you categorize yourself? Do you emerge more as a giver - someone who naturally goes above and beyond, like Shari Maurer, to help and support those in need? Or are you more of a taker - someone who expects others to give relentlessly, whether it's through praise, recognition, superiority, monetarily, etc...?

If we know it's unhealthy (both spiritually and mentally) to behave so vainly and full of arrogance, then why do we continue to take, take, take from one another? Is it simply because we are human, and after all, no one is perfect?

Hmmm...does this question make you squirm a little in your seat?

Well, if anything, I hope I've given some of you (including myself) something to ponder over for the next few days.

My goal is to be more like Shari, a GIVER of knowledge, support, and a person of genuine kindness! Have a great Tuesday, everyone! Tory

More about Shari:

Shari Maurer lives in New City, New York, where she grew up. This serves as a constant reminder of her teen years and enables her to write using very fresh memories. She went to undergrad at Duke University and grad school at NYU, studying English and Dramatic Writing and yelling loud at basketball games. For six years, Shari was at the Children’s Television Workshop, working on international productions of Sesame Street and other kids’ shows. She married Mat, the boy she met at 17 (another source of fresh memories) and they have three children, Lissie, Josh and Eric. Mat is now a cardiologist, which came in very handy when she was writing CHANGE OF HEART, her YA novel to be published by WestSide Books in Spring 2010.

About her book:
CHANGE OF HEART: When you’re 16 years old, it never occurs to you that you might die. Emmi Miller’s got a fabulous life. She has tons of friends, does great in school and is an all-star soccer player who played in Europe last summer. It even looks like Sam Hunter, a totally cute baseball player, might be interested in her. And then she got a virus. No biggy, right? Until the virus goes to her heart and weakens it so much that without a transplant, Emmi will die.

Will Emmi get a heart in time? Is Sam too good to be true? What about her new friend Abe, who has also had a transplant and guides her through these scary times? Is he just being supportive or is there more going on between them? And will Emmi realize it before it’s too late? (


  1. Hi Tory! I'm a former grade school teacher, too! Good luck with your masters program.
    Great interview with Shari. She has amazing credentials!! Her book sounds intriguing and a possible tear jerker!

  2. Found your blog over at Justine's so I decided to drop in for a quick hello!

    This book sounds really good, I'll have to check it out!

    I'm definitely a giver, and sometimes I'm such a giver that people tend to take it for granted and I become overwhelmed and often defeated. I'm learning that with giving there are still boundaries that need to be set in place!

    Awesome post!

  3. Hi Tory, what a great, thought-provoking post. And beautifully written, too. I'd have to say, at this stage in my life, I think I balance giving and taking pretty well. When I was in my 20's, wow, totally a taker. One of the many things we learn along the way, huh? Thanks for stopping by my blog. Another trick I learned with bored kids? Give them a dust rag and dusting spray :)

  4. Kelly and Jen, I'm so excited about you both stopping by! That's what I love about blogging, getting to know people and share the journey of writing with one another.

    Julie, I knew when I joined your blog that you would be an inspiration to my writing (and also a giver of wonderful parenting tips)! You seem to have it all together (work, family, raising kids, etc...), and I hope to learn a lot from you! Thanks for stopping by today.

  5. Wow, loved this post.

    That books sounds really great, too. I'm going to bookmark it. I love hearing about new YA.

  6. Tory, I received an email from Tate Publishing that you may want to check out. I know nothing about it but here's the complicated address:
    Hope this may help you in your quest.

  7. Thanks for stopping by my blog! Your's is really nice and I am now officially a follower ;-) Your children are adorable!


  8. Good post Tory, I just suggested your blog to another writer friend of mine.

  9. Jennifer, Justine, Anonymous, and Lindsay - I'm so glad you enjoyed today's post. Shari is a phenomenal YA writer and I know her book will be a huge success.

    Thanks for the website, Anonymous (Mr. Jim?). I will definitely take a look.